Pumpkin Pie

Granny is famous in our family for her pies, especially beloved is her pumpkin pie, which she has made literally hundreds of over the years.   Sad to say, she doesn't bake much anymore.  Now she is into ordering books on every medical miracle known to man.  Food remedies to cure diabetes (she doesn't even have diabetes), handy household remedies for everything from foot fungus to hair growing disorders!  She is spending a fortune on these books even though she doesn't have 3/4ths of the disorders that she is reading about.  She is on the mail marketing list of one of these cures-from-nature publishing houses, so she receives a new brochure almost everyday, urging her to buy another book.  The other day she was reading to me about a famous cardiologist, who after 35 years of practicing medicine gave up a lucrative practice to tell people that all they had to do was eat a certain common food to cure any and all heart diseases.  What, I asked, is the food, Gran?  She tells me that the brochure says you will need to turn to Page 9 to find out.  Well? I ask, what did it say on Page 9?  She tells me in an exasperated tone:  Page 9 of the BOOK, you have to buy the book to find out.  She tells me this as she is reaching for her checkbook.   Today she received another advertisement to buy another food cure book.  This one actually told you what the food was for a certain cure.  Need to get your man more interested in sex?  No need to buy a pill, says the marketing material.  Bake a pumpkin pie.  She looked at me with a sly grin and said:  I always did wonder why your granddad always asked for pumpkin pies!