Senior Critizen

It really is amazing the things that a ninety-three year old women will say and do. Especially if she's your grandmother. I'm beginning to wonder if she thinks I work for the U-HAUL company, always needing another "yard-sale" box to be moved to and fro. More like I-Haul, any time, anyplace. Have the darn yard-sale already! She says,"did you ever make fondue? I've got this brand new pot... ah, I'll just put it in the yard-sale, somebody's gotta like to make fondue!" OK Gran.... and that's going to happen when....if I suggest to her,  "how about tomorrow!" She'll say,"ah.. I haven't thought of a place to have it at yet," well hello.... in your yard right! I mean..."yard-sale!" Any how, Gran is irrationally quirky, so when she does something, you think about it and laugh later. We go out to eat a lot, which is just not a good idea with Gran because she has the uncanny knack to embarrass you to no end. She might even do it purposely at times, then again.... it just comes naturally. Its like she has the worst luck at restaurants or complaining is just deeply rooted in her soul of souls. (don't tell her I said that) So she orders her food, trying her hardest to impress on the waitress, how she cannot have any spicy foods whatsoever. Then each time, each waitress, assures her, for certain, there will be nothing spicy in her meal. Then sure enough, this one time Gran starts acting like her throat is on fire and begins to yell, "water... water, I need water!" The waitress then ran over and asked,"Whats the matter, whats wrong?" By this time the manager is moseying over and half the restaurant is staring. Gran keeps saying,"water", in a haphazard motion. Finally we all shout,"water, she needs water!" The waitress then understands and Grans fire slowly ceased. She had never thought a thing about the chunks of green vegetables in her corn garnish as she shoveled it in. Bell pepper I can see but who chips jalapeno chunks into a side dish of corn, served with  barbecue chicken breast.....! Que sera, sera......!